My Tryst : Love in the time of Cholera : Gabriel Garcia Marquez

My tryst with ‘Love in the Time of Cholera’ beautifully written by Garbriel Garcia Marquez in Spanish, titled as ‘Elamur en los tiempos del colera’ , in 1985, also the fortunate year, I was born.

This book has been special for many reasons, primarily for it had been recommended to me by a legendary person, who inspired reading into the person who was responsible for me developing an affinity towards reading. He always said to me “Neha, you must read all through your life. Reading keeps your mind active, fresh and imaginative. Read good stuff, develop a taste”. His casual words, I still carry with me.

I bought this book on the 5^th of November 2012 and finished reading the WHOLE book on the 8^th October 2014. I’ve been collecting books and movies that I like or find some reason to read and then wait for the serendipitous events that might lead me into reading/watching them.

I realized this in my Landmark classrooms, when my coach asked us “How many of you have books waiting for you in your shelf to be read when time allows?” And that’s when it struck me, time would never allow. I have to make time for it. So now, I read one book every month.

It has been a beautiful month with this read and hopefully you could expect one blog entry every month about my reads and moments during the reads.

I had a stabilo in my hand all the time which also served as my book mark for the continuing day. I’ve underlined all the momentous lines in the story and that’ll be one of the many reasons; I can’t part with this book now. 

Life is so interesting. A random friend, who is an avid traveller has shared a link to his blog where he has put together his “ Outside education”( as he says ) of  a trekking sojourn to Ladakh and while reading his blog I thought to myself that I have traveled places while being at home during this read and that I should write too.

A gist about the book: It’s fight of love against time, society and ego.

Some lines that I have marked:

• And when you do find one, observe with care, they almost always have crystals in their heart….
• From youthful enthusiasm, he had moved to a position that he himself defined as fatalistic humanism: “Each man is matter of his own death, and all we can do when the time comes is to help him die without the fear of pain.”
• A clandestine life shared with a man who was never completely hers, and in which they often knew the sudden explosion of happiness, did not seem to her a condition to be despised. On the contrary: life had shown her that perhaps it was exemplary.
• Your duty was to report him. I couldn’t do that, I loved him too much.
• There was no innocence more dangerous than the innocence of age.
• I will never be old...
• Only a person without principals could be so complaisant towards grief.
• No one thought that marriage rooted in such foundations could have any reasons not to be happy.
• Neither could have said if mutual dependence was based on their love or convenience, but they had never asked the question with the hands on their heart, because both had preferred not to know the answer.
• Life would have been quite another matter for them both if they had learned in time that it was easier to avoid great matrimonial catastrophes than trivial everyday miseries. But if they have learned anything together, it was that wisdom comes to us when it can no longer do any good.
• The truth was they both played a game, mythical and perverse, but for all that comforting, it was one of the many dangerous pleasures of domestic love.
• Death was not only a permanent probability as he had always believed, but an immediate reality.
• Old age was an indecent state that had to be ended before it was too late.
• …so that he would not go without knowing how much she had loved him, despite all their doubts, and felt an irresistible longing to begin life with him all over again so that they could say what they had left unsaid and so everything right that they had done badly in the past.
• I am happy, because only now do I know for certain where he is when he is not at home.
• You have to know languages when you go to sell something, but when you go to buy, everyone does what he must to understand you.
• Human beings are not born once and for all on the day their mothers give birth to them, but that life obliges them over and over again to give birth to themselves.
• The only regret I will have in dying if it is not for love.
• The only convincing document he could write was a love letter.
• Love was everything they did naked, Spiritual love from the waist up and Physical love from the waist down.
• .. after having renounced not only their family name but their own identity in exchange for a security that was no more  than another of a bride’s  many illusions.
• And nevertheless, when they watched him leave the house, this man they themselves had urged to conquer the world, then they were the ones left with the terror that he would never return. Love if it existed was something separate, another life.
• ..resolved to discover with him the other happiness of being happy twice, with one love for everyday use, which would become more and more, a miracle of being alive, and the other  love that belonged to her alone , the love immunized by death against all contagion.
• …like him would offer her only worldly goods….that once they were added together might resemble love, almost be love, but they were not love.
• One does not love one’s children just because they are one’s children but because of the friendship formed while raising them.
• The problem in public life is learning to overcome terror; the problem in married life is learning to overcome boredom.
• …but only was his own sake, she was in his holy service.
• Men blossomed in a kind of autumnal youth, they seemed more dignified with their first gray hairs, they became witty and seductive and above all in the eyes of young women, while their withered wives had to clutch at their arms so as not to trip over their own shadows. A few years later, the husbands fell without warning down the precipice of a humiliating aging in body and soul and then it was their wives who recovered and had to lead them by arm as if they were blind men on charity, whispering in their ear, in order not to wound their masculine pride.
• …one can be in love with several people at the same time, feel the same sorrow with each and not betray any of them. My heart has more rooms than a whorehouse.
• There was an evil phantom in her life who did not give her a moment’s peace.
• He was overwhelmed by the belated suspicion that it is life, more than death, that has no limits.

Leaving behind

** (Hey Bhagwaan! Every encounter with this song creates a dramatic movement within me)

I am writing after ages now. Primarily since I’ve wanted my posts to get past my emotional out-bursts.

Ever so repeatedly I wonder why this song finds it way to me.

Aaj Jaane ki Zidd na Karo

Only those of us who've somewhere referred to ourselves as ambitious individuals and have in due course, left behind the very few who actually care or will ever worry about our well-being.

Hai marr jayenge, hum to loot jayenge,

Aisi baatein kiya na karo

All the attachments that come along with a relationship, I've grown up thinking is the most beautiful part about having a loved one. Not that it needs to strangulate a relation, but to know that someone will think of you always, no matter what.

Tum hi socho zara kyun na rokein tumhe…

Jaan jaati hai jab uthke jaate ho tum…

While some are sit back and enjoy farewell parties, these few are somewhere in the corner of the party wondering and hoping that if you must go, then hopefully it’s for your best.

Tumko Aapni kasam, Baat itni meri maan lo

They insist  again and again till the last moment. Reminds me of my mother and her never ending questions before I set out to do anything.

Waqt ki qaid main zindagi hai magar, Chand ghadinya yehi hai jo azad hai,

Inko kho meri Jaane jaan, Umra bhar na taraste raho.

What is it that we are looking for? This never ceasing search for better and upgrades, where is it going to take us and most importantly what is the price that we are paying for it, in the limited span of life that has been gifted to us.

Aaj Jaane ki Zidd na karo, yunhi pehloo main baithe raho

This is just a kind request to look back once and acknowledge all those people who have contributed in our successes and all those that we walked over, left behind and don’t remember about any more.

I am one of them now !

Our family commute during my childhood days was aboard Bajaj Chetak, huddled close together in a family hug behind ‘PA’. Simple and warm just the way it used to be in those days.

Years later when I returned to Delhi for work, life threw many options at me: different and new modes of travel – Office bus, car pool with seniors and colleagues, DTC bus and Delhi Metro (still under construction). The preference to the latter was deferred due to obvious reasons. I had to use the office bus since it was economical and convenient but demanded a lot of time. I tried utilising the time, catching up with sleep or reading. But the travel time only kept increasing with the passing years. Therefore I bought my own car. It did save a lot of time, but I was cut off from the realities and the patterns developing in our city; alienated behind those closed protected doors and glasses.

I took a conscious decision of moving away from the city, I cut my wings. But as life would have it, yet again, life has brought me back and I travel in the much coveted Delhi Metro now. Even though its services are fast and prompt, it simple cannot accommodate Delhi’s exploding population. And now having used it for around three weeks, I have become one of them, one of those travelers these days, who hold their smartphones in their hands and choose to be deaf to the moving traffic and commuters. It was so much different in Mumbai, where people liked talking to strangers on the go, where traveling was fun and an active part of life. Ever heard of “Train friend” as a concept, it’s alienating in Delhi. All girls and boys, men and women have blocked their ears with the headphones, bluetooth and wired for the entire travel time. It gets uncomfortable to even ask, “Aap kahan uttrengi?”, “Zara side dena, please?. Uff…You tap their shoulders; they unblock their ears (if they can) and ask “hmm?”….I wish I could just collect all those earphones and throw them far away to planet Pluto….But since I can’t….what do I do to relieve the angst from my daily commute is to listen to music. Even though I see the flip side of this behaviour, I have to admit “I have become one of them now”.

Such is life!

Places we visit and things we do in our everyday routine/lifestyle, itself is a palette of surprises, joyousness, realizations and bewilderment.

I quote one such episode here:

“Just like any other Saturday morning, I had been busy, running home errands to pay our monthly electricity bill, refill groceries stock at home and visit an uncle at hospital. I wanted to remain focused on the tasks at hand, a feeling that dawns every typical Saturday morning, when one feels “my time”/”weekend” has begun.

I decided to hurriedly drop off the electricity bill at the BSES office. I rushed to the counter, happy that I was on time five minutes past nine, to make a quick payment and move ahead, But to my dismay, I realized the counter was shut.

I sat on the main gate, looking over my shoulder at every passerby, hoping that they were the concerned official.

An old lady walks by, picks up the broom and starts cleaning the compound alley. And I begin to wonder when the government services would become prompt and reliable.

A tall heavily built man enters the premises, walks towards the counter and stamps his feet over the ground. Okay, so he is Neha no.2. in some kind of rush with life.

The third person through the gate was a man on his crutches. I looked ahead as he slowly limped his way past me. Assuming him to be Neha no.3, I wondered if I should re plan the day ahead and visit this office at noon. My wait had lasted longer than thirty minutes already.

Hearing some distant screeching sound, I looked back and jumped to see the window open. How did I miss the ghost pass by me? I smiled and ran to the counter. I was stunned to see what I saw ahead of me. Neha no. 3 says “Madam, Aapka cheque kahan hai?”

We make so many assumptions about people over the first glance, which biases the possibilities the person brings along with them.

Looks can be deceiving."

Story : Zebra Crossed Plaid for ALLDAYKIDS

 

The ‘It’ thing this oncoming season is ‘Checkered Plaid’ and ‘Stripes’. Understandably they do denote adulthood and the grown-up preferences, although, Papa and Grand Pa are not the only ones donning checks and stripes this season. It’s our time to bang the strings and playfully brighten-up along with them. Experiment the unusual sizing and placements of checks, on tees, jackets, woolen scarves, Socks and pair them up with crazy mix-match combinations of stripers on trousers, skirts, vests and splash accents of bright hues to stand out amongst all. It’s just the right occasion to explore a mad frenzy with color splashes. With the onset of the chilly winters, layering with multiple layers of clothes to keep warm would become common phenomena. Trick is to stay stylish and trendy despite the nasty loaded-ness of weights. Wear woolens in plain colors such as Reds, Military Greens, and Beige and brighten the look with coordinating stripes and checks in the scarves, shirts/tees or socks. Stay chic and glide through the crowd with all the attention you gain!!

Think of it like an inside scoop on the hottest things right now. Girls & Boys, all the brands like Weekender kids, Lilliput, Kangaroo Kids, Catmoss, and Gini & Jony have enough and more variety on the plate for you to choose from. A sneak peak into the lives of kids like us, living abroad, staying stylish.

http://www.alldaykids.com/articles/2010/11/this-winters-its-zebra-crossed-plaid

The chain that's yet to find its keys!

My first visit to NID Paldi campus and I set my eyes on Mukul Goyal’s acrobatics keychain.

I saw a lot of myself in it. The shining steel connoting the optimism I hold for the future, the free hanging acrobat represents individuality and a new perspective, an upside down world view seeking for new substance.

I had to have it. I waited patiently through all those college days. Most Paldi visits were to see it, hold it in my hands, and feel its cold steel and figure, wondering whether my desire is a materialistic need of a capitalistic collector or of a dreamer who found some identification with another designer’s product.

On my last trip there, along with my mother, we visited the store again. Only this time my resolute was much stronger and surer. I narrated the preceding story to my mother, to highlight the relevance of this splurge!

The chain awaits my next accomplishment in life to celebrate its usage, my next car or my own apartment?

Let’s see!!!

An Iranian Separation

Or is it ? Being single and being a person who lives life by experience more than theory, I can't vouch for the movie totally. But I still believe that most married couples face certain strain after having been in marriage for more than five years. It probably arises from the fact that they grow used to each other and start taking each other for granted.

The protagonist’s wife even though was petrified of the arising perils in the Iranian subcontinent, knew that she wouldn't leave without her family. She kept coming around expecting to be asked to stay back. She wanted to be valued and recognized for her contribution in the household. But as fate would have it, the husband's ego knew no bounds even if it costed him the company of his beloved daughter, not that his affection for his wife was amiss. These misunderstandings only grow and grow if one wouldn't express their emotions. Love can heal and ward of all troubles.The daughter too was trying to get her parents back together, so that they could have a normal life together again.

Housemaid who came to work at the protagonist house was a typical example of a devout women who wants to help her husband in times of crisis but is bound by religion and is afraid to ask his consent for the same. The society has to come over these differences between men and women. It’s a matter of fact that one is born a man or women, how does that give anyone the right to be the head of house, right to assume tasks of maintaining the house and rights to keep a higher unrelenting ego.

In the due course while watching the movie, one does feel its such a mundane topic of conflict to end a happy 14 year long marriage.

A thought provoking movie!